headed south.

Well, Lincoln is finally white with snow. And where am I going today? Georgia. Yes, sunny Georgia. Heading to Passion. I'm hoping the snow sticks around for at least another week so I can enjoy it when I get back. It's really hard to pack for snow-65 degrees.

Hoping this trip will bring me closer to the people around me and most importantly to God.

Not so sure I'm ready for an 18 hour bus ride and sleeping upright against a window, but ya gotta get there somehow I guess.

fail of a night.

My body couldn't have picked a worse day to attack me.

I'd really rather have been sick on Christmas since I get to see my family way more often than my camp family.

I have been giddy for a week now about this camp reunion, and I had to miss it.

I cried and cried--partially because I thought someone was sawing open my skull, but mostly because I had to miss camp.

Still bitter.

Ughhhh.

Anyway

Working today
Scrapbooking like a madwoman

Starting my Christmas shopping

Wonderful news.

One of my three year olds and both of his brothers are getting adopted!

It's been hard to find parents who are able/want to have all three boys, so this is very exciting.

I am beyond words happy for them.

And I am so thankful for my parents.
The youngest boy being adopted was born on meth,

and they should have a sister but she died as a baby because of neglect.

I never thought working at a preschool/daycare would be so emotionally taxing.

It's worth every minute, though.

Love my babies. so much.

almost done.

I

c a n n o t

s t u d y

a n y m o r e.

Final #3 in the morning.

So tired.

and tired of stress.

and worrying.

but, God is good.

and I am determined to accept this part of my plan no matter how it ends up, and no matter how much I cannot fathom the reasoning.

here we go.

Maybe it's because I was cooped up in my small little studio all weekend studying, but today (like most days) I am dying to get out and see the world. Heck, I'd even like to make it to Omaha soon.

Someday, world. Someday.

Let it snow

It's finally snowing!

It's blowing all over the place, so not quite the pretty snow I was hoping for, but it's snow. :)

I've got my candy cane dark hot chocolate, I'm covered in blankets and I'm studying by the light of my Christmas tree with some Christmas music.

This is the last study filled weekend I'll have for a month!

caffeine crisis

Help me.

I am extremely sick of coffee. I have to force myself to swallow it like it's a big pill. My stomach has to be in the mood to drink pop, too. Ahhhh what do I do to stay awake without wanting to gag? Get up every hour and run a lap around my building in 20 degree weather?

Anybody have any tips?

I'm already falling asleep and it's only 9, I've got at least four more hours of paper writing tonight.
Send any ideas my way, please!

I think I can, I think I can..

Deactivated Facebook.

Bought new coffee and lots of comfort food.
(including candy canes for my hot chocolate and gingerbread pancake mix!)

Christmas tree is plugged in.

Blankets out.

Schedule made.

Outside of work/class I am ready to do nothing but study like my life depends on it.

because it does.

I just hope I can sleep when I have time, and stay awake when I don't have time.

That's always been a problem of mine.

Time to get back to work, on a schedule here.

Happy dead week, everyone.

The big 8-0.

This weekend I went home for my Grandma's 80th birthday.
I can't give enough praise or great adjectives to describe how wonderful this woman is,

or how much she has shaped who I am.

Grandmas are just wonderful, aren't they?

la semana muerte.

Laura: "They call it dead week because they're trying to kill us."

These next few weeks are going to be very, very stressful, busy, and probably sleepless.

Oh, joy.

My favorite/least favorite time of the year.

Love Christmas, hate finals.

Time to get back to studying, adios amigos.

Thanksgiving.

Well, not having wireless at home put a damper on my blogging. I had this long list of things I was thankful for to post on Thanksgiving, and as you can see--that didn't happen. Here are the most important, sadly without explanation. It's go-time for school around here so this is my quick study break post.

1. God.
2. dad.
3. mom.
4. sister.
5. grandma.
6. brother.
7. Paisley.
8. brother-in-law.
9. camp.
10. Jordan & Sharon.
11. Lea & Griffin.
12. Shayla & Kristin.
13. Camp friends- Holly, Lindsey, Megan, Becca, Dave.
14. Brandon, Bryan, Quinn.
15. Jamison & Matt.
16. The fact that Nebraska has four different seasons.
17. music.
18. books.
19. bathtubs.
20. coffee.
21. Noodles n' Company.
22. opportunities.
23. growth.
24. my kids at work! (ranked way higher than 24, these little ones literally keep me sane.)
25. holidays.

18 hours

Well, it is finally Thanksgiving break and I get to go home in 18 hours!

The day should go pretty fast because I'm planning on sleeping in, watching the DWTS finales and packing before work. Jumping on I-80 straight to the Island after that. eeeeeek.

Bring on the kid quotes...
There is never a dull moment at my job.

My poor little Hope got quite sick, and I got quite lucky because if I had picked her up 3 seconds sooner..well, I probably would have been sick too.

The second after she..ya know, she looked at me, smiling and said "Miss Alyssa, I feel so much better!" Ahh she melts my heart. Poor thing was under anesthesia this morning for the botox injections she has to get in her legs so we're assuming that's the reasoning behind it.

This next conversation was hilarious, I wasn't there but I got a detailed play by play from their morning teacher, Angel.

Ruby: "I have a baby in my tummy!"
Angel: "Did you eat a baby, Ruby?!"
Ruby: "Noooo, I ate an egg!"

Angel: "Well how is this baby going to come out?"
Britta: "At the hopsikal!"

Ben: "Hey, I have a baby in my tummy, too!"
Angel: "Where did you get your baby, Ben?"
Ben: "At Super Saver!"

Yesterday we made cornucopias with ice cream cones, Runts candy and frosting. It was hilarious listening to the different ways they attempted to say "cornucopia". The most popular translations were "corkacolia" and "corlapokia".

Tomorrow is going to be a sad day. Ben and Harper, two of my favorites, (I know, I know, it's awful that I have favorites) are graduating from the Starfish room and becoming Rainbowfish. Ben asked me if I was going to cry, then promised me that he would give me a hug everyday at snack and still let me tie his shoes. :) What a guy.

So..after all that..
Today, I am thankful for...
*A wonderful first night of break. My friend Dave is back in Nebraska for Thanksgiving so we hung out for the night. So wonderful to see him and get a fresh perspective on so many new things.

*The fact that in 18 hours I will be sitting at home!
*Kids who make me laugh.

46 hours.

First things, first.
Today, I am thankful for...
*My dear Illinois friend, Adam. (whom I could not be prouder of or happier for)

He gave me a bit of an epiphany. Thanks, dude.

*Chai lattes.

*Gloves, a scarf and earmuffs.

*Mexican hot chocolate

(Completely aware that I'm starting to sound like an emotional eater/warm liquids drinker.)

*The picture of little P my bro-in-law just sent me.
*Bathtubs.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In 46 hours I will be sitting at home with my family.

One test, two classes, two days of work, and a 1.5 hour drive to go.
I'm way too ready to skip Lincoln for a few days.

First thing I'm going to do is hold my favorite baby on this planet. :)

Sunday [not so] Funday

Today, I am thankful for...
Jordan

ice cream

and a God who "makes all things work together for your good"

thankfuls for the day.

A friend's blog inspired me to write at least one thing I am thankful for everyday. I have a million and one things I am grateful for, but we'll do this day by day.

Yesterday, I was thankful for...
*Spending the afternoon with Shayla, my oldest friend. Running strong since age 6. :)

*Friend triangles who are always making sure one is looking out for the other.
*Getting to babysit for a wonderful family. The night consisted of Twister, Operation and Toy Story with three of my favorite kids.
*Not having a heart attack or mental breakdown upon realizing that I could no longer use my own computer for a ten pager that's due Monday morning. Stupid Microsoft.

So, today, I am thankful for...
*A good friend who let me borrow his computer at 6:30am on a Saturday.
*Coffee.

*Allison--for making sure that I'm alive and well, on her birthday. one of the most selfless people I know.

*One Year Bible. It always seems to have the message you need to hear that day.
*The willpower to deactivate Facebook, shut off my phone, and turn off my music.

Alright, friends. Time to get back to work. No more blogging for me this weekend unless it's a victory post for finishing this paper and having time to sleep.

kiddies again.

Today, I am thankful for...

having a bunch of three and four year olds who make me laugh until I cry.
A bad day can never continue once I get to work.
On Thursday, little Ben got his head stuck in a purse. Yes, that's right, a purse.
He thought it made a nice crown.
I couldn't get the purse off the poor kid's head because I was too busy laughing uncontrollably, thankfully he thought it was pretty funny, too.
It was hard not to giggle when I was explaining to his Dad why he had a red line around his forehead.
Oh, how I love my job :)
-------------------------------------------------------
A few kid quotes I forgot--
(Ruby's birthday was last week.)
Ruby: "I just can't believe God is making me turn 4. I want to stay 3!"

This one is also from Ruby. She had two timeouts in one day which is very unusual for her, this was her explanation to her mom.
Ruby: "Mommy, I had two timeouts today, but it's not my fault! The bad ideas made me do it! When we get home I'm going to flush those bad ideas right down the toilet and everyday before I come to school we're going to flush them again so I never have to get in trouble!"
This comes from the little girl who always prays for "no timeouts" before we eat snack. :)

You Decide

It's up to you, you make the call
It's always been your choice
Maybe you're right
And were all wrong
We're only some voices
Cause in the end it all depends
I'll step aside and let you decide

There was a season in your life
When everyone was smarter
The best Advice that they could give
You'll have to work much harder
Then finally someday you'll be wise
Realize only you decide

Cause everybody has to choose Sink or swim win or lose
No not everybody gets it right Fight or flight,
so will you Decide

So you bent the rules
Denied the truth
And all the strong suggestions
You never heard
Your parents say
They're giant misperceptions
Of who you really are, you've come this far

Here you are, you decide

Cause' everybody has to choose sink or swim win or lose
Know everybody gets it right fight or flight so will you decide

Make your move
It's up to you
Don't let the moment pass you by
All eyes on you
Whatcha gonna do
With all the swirling through your head
You've got to use your heart instead

No not everybody gets it right fight or flight so will you decide

Cause' everybody has to choose sink or swim win or lose
Know that everybody gets it right fight or flight so will you decide

You decide


--Brandon Heath "You Decide"

Random thoughts on a Wednesday

1. I'm so incredibly blessed.

God is waaaay too good to me.

I have heard a million and one absolute horror stories over the past few days.

I have absolutely nothing to complain about, and a million and one things to praise God for.

2. I have the most wonderful parents I could ask for.

3. I really, and I mean really miss camp. I kind of forgot how powerful of an experience it was until someone recently asked me what was so great about it. I couldn't even put it into words. I'm not sure I want to imagine what my life would be like had I not worked there. Okay, so it's not like I'd be in jail or anything, I just made incredible life-long friends there. I grew so much (although I still have a long way to go), and my faith grew even more than that. When you're put in a world surrounded by God's creation, no technology and a ton of awesome staff/kids, things change. So thankful for that.

4. My mind has a hard time focusing on the present.

Instead of writing my Spanish paper, I'm busy worrying about things that are tomorrow or next week or next year.

5. Just started rereading Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow.
Brilliant, deeply convicting stuff right there.
I highly, highly recommend you read it.
(Thanks for returning it, Jordan! I couldn't have gotten it back at a better time.)

Kid quotes

So it's been a while since I've posted kid quotes, I've got a few good ones, and probably way more that I have forgotten.

So Ruby's mom is 8 months pregnant, she came to pick up her daughter today..here's the conversation between her and a 4 year old boy.
Cole (poking her stomach): "Is there a baby in there?"
Mom: "Yes, there is, it's a little girl!"
Cole: "Well...are you going to name her Bubba? Or you could name her Ruby, too and they would be twins!"


Jared: "Miss Alyssa, are you married?"
Me: "No, for the one hundredth time, I am not married."
Jared: "Well, my dad is looking for a new wife!"

This one would be funnier if you heard the conversation and didn't know what was happening. We were playing with Play-do and Ruby had made a heart and Ben took it from her.
Ruby (crying): "Ben, you stole my heart! Give it back Ben, I want my heart back!"

Sara: "Lauren, do you know what a date is?"
Lauren: "Duh, it's like October 18th."

Ben (looking in mirror): "Miss Alyssa, do I look like Justin Bieber today?"

After stepping on Britta's foot...
Ben: "Britta, I'm so sorry! Are you still going to marry me?"
Britta: "No!"
Ben: "Britta, I'm sorry! I still love you and I'll buy you a hamster when we get married!"
Britta: "Okay, I love you, too!"

9 days until the Island of all things Grand.

When are you too old to admit that you miss your mommy and daddy?
Right now I feel like Grand Island might as well be an actual island.
I've never gone this long without seeing my family. It's been 5 weeks! It's probably kind of pathetic because a lot of my friends only get to come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I only live an hour away so home is very easily accessible. I absolutely cannot wait for Thanksgiving. Living next to the interstate is really dangerous for me. I left my apartment Saturday night to get some dinner and I was extremely close to jumping on I-80 with nothing but my purse. It's definitely a good thing that I didn't go home since I had so much to do this weekend, but it sure was tempting.

9 more days, I can do this.

Life is good.

Well it was pretty much a wonderful weekend. As previously mentioned, I got to see my sister, bro-in-law and Paisley. Then Saturday I was nonstop productive until about 10pm, then I took nice long break with a friend and watched Willy Wonka for the first time. (Yes, I've already heard that my childhood was deprived.) Then Sunday, I got to see Jordan again and we enjoyed some nice girl time over coffee. So thankful for this girl.

And you will never believe my Monday morning. Usually I hit the snooze four times and crawl out of bed right before I have to leave. Today, I woke up on my own at 6:45! I thought I might as well get up and get some things done instead of trying to fall back asleep. I worked out (!) and made a healthy breakfast. I did some astronomy, Spanish and had some quality time with the Big Guy. I felt happy, energized and like nothing could stop me today. What a great feeling, I think I should do this every morning. The only downfall is halfway through class my head started nodding and it was pretty hard to stay awake. Needless to say, I am now at home drinking some coffee before I have to go chase three year olds. :)

Snow, current obsessions/annoyances.

Last night marked the first snow fall in Nebraska.

I got so excited that I whipped out my Christmas music and made some hot chocolate.

There's just something so magical about snow, it just fills up my soul.

I woke up this morning and rushed to look out my window, and it was all melted already, which I suppose is fine for now--since I would really love to roadtrip to Denver next weekend with some of my very favorite people to see some more of my very favorite people. It will be the the best mini vacation. I will be losing my ice-skating virginity, and Colorado with my dearest friends is the perfect place to do so. :)

--------------------------------------
Current obsessions: Mexican hot chocolate & Spanish music.

One of my oldest and dearest friends is in Mexico this semester studying abroad,

I've been living vicariously through her for the past few months. I'm so jealous of all the Spanish she's learning, she is going to put me to shame this summer when we go back to Mexico!

She recently told me about Mexican hot chocolate--hot chocolate with lots of cinnamon! It's become a daily treat for me. (Fun fact: I read that cinnamon helps burn fat so now I put it in my coffee and cereal, too!) It's soo good and reminds me of a wonderful friend whom I miss dearly. She also told me about her favorite Spanish music, which has been playing nonstop on Pandora while I work on my Spanish paper. (Thanks, Michelle!) I figure it's a small way to help put some more Spanish in my life, although it really just makes me more jealous of all of her adventures and miss Reynosa. I can't wait to see this girl in December!

--------------------------------------

Current annoyance: Husker football dominates Lincoln.

The library is closed during all home games and the closest coffee shops are downtown--downtown Lincoln on game day is a disaster--lots of traffic, zero parking, and lots of drunk people. Productivity usually doesn't peak for me while I'm at my apartment, mainly because everywhere I go, my bed and couch are very close. (one downfall to a studio apartment) All my movies & books stare me in the face, too and I'm in the

cleaning/organizing mood. I must refrain.
Wish me luck!

Best study break ever.

Best study break I could ask for.

I couldn't go home this weekend like I had originally planned, so Paisley came to see me :) I love my family.

I hadn't seen her for almost a month, she is getting so big and cuter and cuter everyday. She smiled right when she saw me and she reached for me! I about lost it. This little one melts my heart and makes me so happy no matter how stressed I am.

Now I am refreshed and ready to get back to my paper!

Well, it's Wednesday! I thought I was going to able relax tonight after work since my last test was this morning, but my Spanish professor decided otherwise. Apparently, I need a new hypothesis for my 9 page research paper that's due next Friday. Awesome. Hoping all the new research goes smoothly so I can still go home this weekend, otherwise I'll be spending yet another weekend in the library. Good gravy, I should just move my bed there and get a campus meal plan.

Thanksgiving, where are you?

This weekend was a complete rollercoaster.

I'm stressed, sad, frustrated, unsure, happy and excited--each about a different thing.

I could really use a full weekend at home with no homework to do.

I'm hoping to go back to The Island next weekend, even though it will be for only 15 hours, 8 of which I'll be sleeping. (Those dang Huskers are controlling my schedule again.) I really miss my parentals and my niece. I just want my Dad to make me some real food. I want to hold my little Paisley without 6 other people in waiting in line. I want to hang out with my Mom and chat with my Grandma. I want to watch Kardashians with my sister. I want to go to Starby's and Hastings with Lea. I want to watch movies with Jord.

Sadly, if I even get to go home (research paper due), the majority of these things won't happen. I can only do so much between the hours of 9pm and noon.

Thanksgiving cannot get here soon enough.

Okay, that's enough whining. Back to homework.

Noviembre.

Dear Fall,

You make me so happy. and I will be much, much, much happier after Wednesday. (Three tests and one project to go.) I can't even begin to describe how much I love fall, especially this one. Even though it's toward the end of the year, fall always seems to have new beginnings, and I'm loving this one. I think I finally found my place in Lincoln. It's only taken two and a half years, but it was worth the wait.

After Wednesday, I get to start enjoying life a little more. My friend Hanna is teaching me to knit, which I am super stoked about. Also, I ordered C.S. Lewis's signature collection and the package has been taunting me since Tuesday. The third season of How I Met Your Mother awaits in my mailbox, and I get to go home on Friday. Quadruple win.

I think November and I are going to get along really well.

Hope.

I'm temporarily back from my hiatus to write a very important post.

As you know, I work at a pre-school and love it more than I ever imagined I would. It may seem odd, but I have learned so much from my three year olds and I feel like I know them as well as I know my friends. They are like little adults. I know the life of a three year old may not seem hard, but they really do have to deal with a lot at that age, I know so much about each kid's personality and I can imagine what they will be like as they get older. I learn so much from just watching them interact with each other.
The brilliant, yet simple statements that come from their mouths never cease to amaze me. I wish every person had the hearts of my kids. They are always telling each other to use "teamwork" and to "be kind". Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone followed those two things?

I could go on and on about my kids, but this post does have a very important point/request.

Hope, one of my little girls, is in St. Louis right now and she was scheduled to have an SDR surgery today for spastic cerebral palsy. After having pre-op procedures done, they discovered she was no longer a candidate for the surgery and that she doesn't even have spastic cp, but dystonic. The family is staying in St. Louis, hoping for a cancellation soon so they can learn about this new diagnosis and what it means for Hope's life.
I never realized how much I would learn from a three year old, and let me tell you, this one melts my heart. She is so sweet, always happy and makes me laugh all the time. I am with Hope five days a week and I never stop learning from her. I can't wait until she is back in school.


Please, please, please pray for Hope and her family as they try to figure out what's next for their beautiful daughter who has touched my heart in so many ways.

thanks, everyone :)

update.

Just a quick update to let you know that I'm alive: [thanks, Megs]

1. Fall break was absolutely wonderful.
2. I'm home for the weekend with my awesome family.
3. I'll be taking a little hiatus because of a paper and midterms that desperately need my full attention.


*I couldn't resist adding a new picture of Paisley. She looks so grown up in that outfit!

Have I mentioned how much I love fall?

Back to work. Adios, for now, blogging world.

Today was such a great day.
Lindsey came up from Kansas.
Went to church with Linds and saw lots of camp friends.
After church had lunch with Erin, Jody and Lindsey,
then went to Fall Festival at camp with Lindsey, Jody and Jason.

It was absolutely wonderful to be back at camp.
We all said "We're home!" when we turned in to good ol' CJH and we jammed to the camp cd the whole trip up and back to Lincoln.
I got assigned to boats today.
Obviously the woman doing the assigments had no idea who I was..I can't lift boats!
I'm seriously shocked I left uninjured.
Camp rules were totally not enforced, and the parents were worse than the kids about just climbing into boats without staff okaying it. Geesh.

I saw three of my campers and recognized a few more.
Caitlin, one of my more memorable campers, said
"I miss camp so much, I think about it everyday and I can't wait to come back this summer!"
That pretty much made my day, it's so great to know that we make an impact on these awesome kiddos.
I hear ya, Caitlin. I miss it, too!
Hook in his usual spot.

Mini staff reunion
The lake lost it's algae!


I really wish we would have had more time to roam around, I was really hoping to go to Inspiration, Springs and Trailhead.

Becca & Megan, I missed you today. Wish you ladies could have been there.

Preschool drama.

My kids at work have become obsessed with getting married.
Obsessed.
They're in preschool.
It all started when Britta said she wanted to marry Ben. Then I had two girls crying shortly after because they're lovers were taken.
Ben likes Britta. Ruby likes Ben. Rhett likes Ruby. Harper likes Rhett. Chloe and Hope are the smart ones of the bunch.
Oh, the drama.
Now not only do they talk about marrying each other, but they hold hands everywhere they go, and I've caught Ben and Britta kissing twice now!
This little relationship is so strange, it's not just chasing each other on the playground--if Ben gets a time out, Britta will go hold his hand and comfort him. I don't know how to handle 4 year old crushes, so I just tell them not to touch each other so they don't spread germs. My, my kids start younger all the time.
The kids then started asking me why I wasn't married.

*Ben: "Miss Alyssa, where is your wedding ring?"
Me: "I don't have one, Ben, I'm not married."
Ben: "But you're like 64 aren't you?"
Ben proposed to me shortly after this, and the kid thought I was his grandma's age 5 minutes earlier.

*Ellie: "Why aren't you married yet? Have you not picked your favorite boyfriend?"

* * * * * * *
This one has nothing to do with marriage, but it's hilarious.
Ruby: "My daddy is here!
Me: "It's only 3, Ruby, he's not here yet."
Ruby: "But I smell beer!"

don't worry our preschool does not serve beer,
but some days you would think the sippy cups are spiked with how hyper these kids get.

Never a dull moment, that's for sure.

Tonight the girls from my Bible study came over for a fun night of pizza and caramel apple making.
I was so tempted to go fancy and drizzle dark chocolate and vanilla all over, but my wallet doesn't allow fancy.
So they aren't the most glamorous apples I've ever seen, but my are they tasty!
I found fun fall leaf-shaped sprinkles, and also chopped up Reese's to roll the apples in.
Gotta have the peanut butter.

I'm so excited to get to know these wonderful ladies.




* * * * * * * *

So excited that tomorrow is Friday.
AND
it's chocolate day at work,
we all have to bring chocolate to share with the staff.
Man did I land a good job or what?
It's gonna be a good day.

Indecisive is my middle name.

Camp or Spain?
Switch majors or keep the one I have?

Both of these very large decsions have to be made either within the next week or by the end of the month.
And in case you weren't aware, I am the worst decision maker ever.
I have a very hard time understanding that sometimes there is not a "wrong choice" to make when you have two perfectly good options.
I don't want to make the "wrong decision" for fear I will spend the summer in Spain, wishing I was at camp, or vise versa.
I don't want to start a new major, realize I hate it then have wasted another semester.

Even though what I major in seems like a bigger life decision, (and the decision that needs to be made next week) I'm way more stressed about choosing between camp and Spain.
Probably because I feel that I have my whole life to finish school and decide what I want to do, and working at camp and going to Spain may only be opportunities for this coming summer.

I could go on and on and on, but I'll leave those ramblings inside my head for now to spare you all what could be multiple pages of thoughts.
But they're probably coming soon...writing helps me process.

If anyone has any good decision making tips, send them my way!
Please and thank you.

My little Paisley was baptized today.

I am such a proud Godmother :)
She didn't make a peep the whole service and barely flinched when her head was wet.
After that, we had a nice little lunch at the church with all of our family.
It was such a wonderful day.
(Wonderful food, too!)
I always take advantage of the real food at home and stuff myself to the brim.
Yay, brisket.

Day well spent.
I love my family.

fall, fall, fall.

Dear Fall,
Please don't ever leave.

I am so making these.
It's my favorite time of year again!
I love the weather so much. I've been taking the kids outside everyday, longer than "outside time" allows, just so I can savor the crisp air before it turns cold. (and maybe also to get more of their energy out) Nebraska is so beautiful in the fall, I love the gorgeous colors of the trees, especially when out in the country by the river. Ahh I can only imagine how beautiful camp is this time of year.

Fall is my favorite for many reasons..
First off, it's gorgeous weather and gorgeous scenery.
I love cardigans and scarves and jackets.
I love curling up in a blanket with a good book.
Three words--pumpkin spice lattes.
(or pumpkin anything for that matter)
Fall has so many memories--
It's so funny how a temperature, scenery or a smell can bring back so many memories.
Did anyone else rake up leaves and put them in those orange pumpkin garbage bags when you were little?
Fall always reminds me of home, that's for sure.

and what a lovely weekend at home it was.

cold noodles.

Stressed.

Just took a bite of some leftovers I zapped and started crying upon realizing my food was still cold.
Cold food shouldn't make me cry.

I am really not a fan of school
or the fact that my GPA controls the rest of my life.



Mental breakdown in 3....2......

Friday's kid quotes

Quick quick study break for Friday's kid quotes.

After my stomach growled, Jaela (3) says: "You fahting or hungwy?"

Ben: "Miss Alyssa, why were you gone yesterday?"
Me: "I was sick."
Ben: "Why?"
Me: "I must have caught some germs."
Ben: "Were they boy germs? Britta says I have boy germs."


Now back to being productive like I have been nonstop for the past TWELVE hours. Literally non-stop. My only break was to take a shower. Yay, school.

Can't wait until Friday when I can breathe! Going home for P's baptism, going to be her Godmother :) So excited to see little P, the fam and the extendeds! Oh AND Kristin, Jordan & Lea. I'll be a happy little camper next weekend.

I'm losin' it.
I need to go back to camp.
It's not even a question between wanting & needing to go back.
I need to go back for my sanity.
If I could just spend a few days in that setting with those people and those kids, I think it would do me a world of good.
The outside world is way too stressful and busy.
I enjoyed my bubble without technology and school way too much.

Maybe it's just an off day.

For your entertainment

My art history professor says some odd things.

Quotes from class today:
*"You can run, but you can't hide! That's right folks, your first exam is on Tuesday."

*"His legs are cockywampus. Not sure what the artist was doing there."

*"Gravity is what holds your body in place. You can test this out. Go stand in front of your mirror, and take your clothes off, and you can see how this works. If your roommate walks in, just tell him your professor told you to do it."

hmmm..

In other news, I have been studying like my life depends on it. Well, actually it kinda does. Hellooooo, stress.

I can't wait until next week when all of these tests, labs and papers are done!

boo.

Quotes of the day from the kiddos

-Ruby: "My baby is going marrying today."

-Ellie: "Austin, you can't play Wii with us, you're only three!"
Austin (screaming/crying): "I DON'T WANT TO BE THREE ANYMORE!"

-Ben: "Britta, I'll be your Prince Charming. WHOA, look at that sword!"

Dust bunnies don't hop.

First off, I need to pre-apologize for the long post. It's story time, everyone. Please prepare yourselves.

My worst camp-fear came true.
In Lincoln.
Inside my apartment.

Never have I ever been so grossed out in my life.
Let's retell this traumatic event, shall we?

I was minding my own business, rearranging my apartment around 2am.
Not the typical evening, but I couldn't sleep.
(&thank goodness I was awake or who knows how I would have stumbled upon this.)
I spotted something on the floor, even did a double take and realized it was just a dust bunny.
Then, it MOVED.
Dust bunnies do NOT hop.
Frog.

I quickly jumped on my bed, phone in hand and well..started freaking out.
Screaming to myself.
0.2 seconds away from crying like a baby.
There was no way I was going to touch that thing.
First instinct: Call Dad.
Then I remembered if I called him at 2 am he would think I was lying in a ditch somewhere, not having a battle royale with a frog.
Next instinct: Call Dave.
Dave lives 7 hours away from Lincoln. He would have been useless.
I don't use my common sense when I panic.
Light bulb: Sara lives next door.
I texted Sara, praying she was still awake, or by golly I was going to pound on her door until she was.
Two minutes later, Sara was at my door.
She very bravely trapped the toad under a cup while I jumped and screamed every time it moved.
I am useless.
She slid a plate under the cup and then we both ran outside. Poor thing took a nice ride through the air when Sara threw the cup from the doorway.
Both the plate and the cup are in the trash can.

I then borrowed indoor bug spray from Sara, spent the night lying awake, seeing images of frogs in my mind. I could not stop itching, my skin was crawling people. Frogs do not belong inside!

I didn't even go to school today because I was so freaked out something else would get in while I was gone. I spent the day deep cleaning my place like it was nobody's business.
The nice little maintenance man brought me a thingy that goes under your door so nothing can crawl in.

I still have about 3 loads of laundry to do, but I ran out of quarters. I know I will not sleep until everything has been completely deep cleaned. Even things that don't touch the floor got a nice 409 disinfectant shower.
I couldn't even eat or drink anything until about an hour ago. Every time I tried, I only saw frogs.
Eeewwwww. Weirdest thing ever.

What a day.

Square dancing, soccer, studying.

Last night we had a leadership retreat for church. We went to a camp outside of Lincoln, had dinner, worship and a few other activities. One of these activities was square dancing. Not gonna lie--it was the highlight of this school year so far. Maybe it's because my life is kinda boring, or maybe it was because square dancing is actually pretty fun when you're with 30 college kids. We all felt like huge dorks, but that was part of the fun. Oh goodness. I think I'm gonna have to bring this idea to camp for big group game time.


During the night--my biggest pet peeve happened. The lady who has introduced herself to me I swear 6 times now, sat next to me and said "Have we met?" I wanted to say "Yes. Yes, we have. This is the sixth time you have asked me that. Why don't you remember me!?" But I refrained and was polite. It's not even like we have just introduced ourselves, we've been on a trip together, I see her twice a week, we were partners for an activity, and she was at an event I was at a few weeks ago. Hmmphh.

Anyway..
Today, I didn't have to work. (Yay!)
I studied and cleaned during the day, then my sister and brother-in-law stopped by after the game. After that, I went to watch my friend Lindsey's soccer game at Concordia with Taylor. SO incredibly good to see camp friends. I needed that. Although it just made me miss camp and dislike school even more. Oh well. Life.

Tangent over.
Now I need to end my study break and get back to astronomy.
First test of the semester is tomorrow..oh joy!

Go 'skers?

Husker football dictates my life. (and also the state of Nebraska)
No, I am not a crazy fan.
I enjoy going to the games and I don't mind watching them on tv, but I am definitely not disappointed if I miss it.
Football season controls my life because I babysit during all of the games.
The money is well worth it, but I can't go home or visit friends until there is an away game, which puts a damper on my social life (which is non-existent this year)
and sometimes you just need to go home.

I am very excited that the family is taking the kids to the game this weekend, so I am free!
My sister and brother-in-law are coming up for the game, and I'm hoping they bring Paisley so I can babysit! I don't think I can wait another week to see her.
It's crazy how much I miss that baby, so thankful I ended up staying in Nebraska this year.

They're huge Husker fans, if you can't tell.
Aren't they just the cutest little family?

Travis, Paisley & Ashley

Look at those cheeks!

Fambam.

I really like my new job, but its not without its emotional moments.
I can tell that a few of my kids have a really sucky home life and it breaks my heart.
I can't even fathom what it would be like to not have parents you can depend on.

I've never been so thankful for my family.
(and I can't wait to go home next weekend!)

I had to throw another Paisley picture in, I couldn't help myself. :)

Kids say the darndest things

I recently started a new job at a preschool.

Preschoolers say some funny things..

Today while playing "color/shape" Bingo, I called out "purple circle".
Ben (4 yrs old) says: "I don't have a purple circle, but I can give you a purple nurple!"
Reverse sexual harrassment??
Ben also calls rectangles, "recticles". Hmm..

Britta calls circles, "squircles".

I'm sure I will have many posts to come with quotes from my 3 & 4 year olds.
That's all for now!

Paisley!

New pictures of my darling little Paisley.
She's such a happy baby.
I am never ever homesick, but I can't wait to get home and see her!
2 weeks, baby :)

Isn't she precious? :)

On fire.

I am on fire right now.
Not "on fire" as in angry, but on fire as in I have a million things I can't wait to do.

First, I can't wait to continue with my job!
I started today, and my kids are angels! They are all so well behaved and adorable and they warmed up to me really quick.

It was also the first night of leading Bible study, it went great (thanks to Quenton for being a great co-leader!). I'm really excited to meet my girls next week.

Another thing--lately I've been really confused on what I'm doing with school.
In the past 5 days, I have met three people who have a Child, Youth & Family studies major. Not quite sure why I've never looked into this before, but after chatting with a few people, I'm seriously considering it and hoping to talk to an advisor soon.
I don't think it was just a coincidence that I met all these people this week.
Go God.

Far less important...but I am also in a really crafty mood. Wish I had time!
I also started a new book when I should have been doing homework and now I can't put it down...
AND within the past week I have become reADDICTED to Design Star..I started watching from Season 1. I've already seen them so I know who wins, but I just love it too much.

All this to say, I have so many things I want to do right now, but homework has to be put first. Boo.

A day of firsts..on the 2nd.

Tomorrow is a big day!

I start training at my new job tomorrow afternoon.
I will be working at a nonprofit ministry that is basically like a daycare. Parents bring their kids in everyday while they are at work for no cost to them. I will be working with the preschoolers. I was secretly hoping for elementary, but it didn't work with my schedule. I am really excited for this, I think the perfect job just fell into my lap and I think it could lead to some great opportunities.

I have another "first" tomorrow.
I am leading a Bible study for college girls for the very first time.
I am pretty excited, but the nerves outweigh the excitement. Tomorrow night I will have a co-leader since it's the first night, but after that I'm on my own! I've lead Bible studies before, but the people have all been at least 5 or 6 years younger than me. We'll see how this goes...
ahhhhh!

Random thoughts for the day

*I love making lists.
-->speaking of lists, Saturday night I put a check mark on my life list. Thank you, Lifehouse. You were wonderful.

*My love for Spanish is BACK. I think it really all depends on the teacher I have, this semester I really like my prof. I was feeling rather adventurous today and I went to Barnes and Noble to look for a book to read in Spanish, I was hoping to find a teen/easy read book, but most of the books they had were the classics..I better read those in English first. Hmmph.

*I have a love/hate relationship with living alone and also not having a tv.

*I finally found a steady job. I am starting to get nervous because I haven't had an 8am-6pm full schedule since high school. We'll see how this goes.

*I can't wait to get my homework done so I can:
A: Watch last night's episode of The Bachelor Pad.
B: Start my new book.
C: Reward myself with a nice cup of dark hot chocolate--courtesy of Sharon. :)

theme verse for the summer.

"And if I have faith so as to move mountains,
but have not love, I am nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:2

Another late evening vent

I have a wonderful life, don't get me wrong. I very much appreciate everything that I have, but this is my outlet and my place to vent..this is what happens when you live by yourself, you vent to your computer. (I do have friends, I swear :) )
I just have to get some things out before I can move on with my night.

1. I hate when I have met someone three times before and they proceed to introduce themselves to me again. Happens every single week at church. Happened 3 times tonight.

2. I am so tired of being at UNL. I am a religion major at a public school..enough said.
I so badly want to transfer to a Christian/Lutheran school where I can just get my degree in Youth and Family Ministry. That's not in the cards, yet it's still in my silly imagination. I just really don't understand why it costs such a ridiculous amount to get a degree in ministry when you get paid so little. Don't get me wrong, I don't care about how much money I will make, I just can't get an education like that and then pay it off with that kind of salary.

3. I am already tired of school. I think if I were studying things of interest to me, I would like school a lot more.

4. Why can't I read your mind?

5. Why can't I just learn to be more patient in this process?

*Thankful I have 143095 good things in my life for every annoyance on this list.

Being back in Lincoln this week has reminded me how incredibly blessed I was to have such an amazing summer. Missing camp terribly.

Sittin' loose in the saddle [trying]

One of the greatest pieces of advice I have ever heard came from my friend, Becca.
We were chatting about my future. For those of you who don't know...I don't really like thinking about the future. I'm not in love with where I'm at in life right now either, though, so sometimes I want to think about the future. Hmm...tricky. anyway...

"Sit loose in the saddle." is what Becca told me to do.

I don't have my perfect life plan mapped out. I don't have a specific goal in mind. I can't say that I've ever been one of those girls who could picture themselves working here, marrying him and naming their kids such and such. I've always thought that was rather odd..but then I suppose my expectations aren't too high, right? I'm not completely clueless as to what I want to do in life, but I don't have any specific ideas.
I have complete trust in God that He will reveal to me what it is I am supposed to do, but sometimes (like now) I am completely impatient and frustrated.

I feel like I am wasting my time sitting at school studying things that I will never, ever use in my life. (Spanish has the potential to be useful, though) Then I get even more frustrated when I have to deal with the homework and trying to get good grades for classes that will never be of use to me.

I need to keep reminding myself to "sit loose in the saddle" and just take life one day at a time. I don't have the perfect plan mapped out, but God sure does. And it is guaranteed that His is a lot better than mine.

PS--Thanks, Becca :)

Current thoughts

Current thoughts:

--Why do I always double book myself? I have days where I have absolutely nothing scheduled, then I have days where I have to be 3 places at once. You can tell I'm still getting back into the swing of things.

--Putting tv episodes online is seriously the greatest idea since sliced bread. I don't have cable so I am happy I can use the internet to catch up on my shows, and kill my boredom.

--Why is it that when I imagined my new life, I pictured myself as being very productive? Who was I kidding? (Don't worry Mom, my homework for today is done!) I just mean that I pictured myself doing homework, working out, reading and crafting a lot more than I have been. I guess I have only lived here for 4 days, though.

--I am incredibly excited for this weekend. I get to see Paisley. I get to see Lifehouse. I get to Lindsey, one of my very favorite people from camp. What a jam packed 3 days.

That's all for now.

Bathroom art.

Discovered this in a bathroom while exploring downtown with a good friend.
I just so happened to be with the person who needed to see this the most.
Life is funny like that.



Seriously, when?

Go have fun, people.

Goodbye Summer.

Summer is officially over.

School started today, I had Spanish and astronomy this morning.
Two awkward moments...
It never fails that the only time I get called on is when I don't know the answer. I bet that was a great first impression on my new prof. Whoops..

Number two:
I walked into my 11:30 lecture at 11:29. (I hate being late, but my class before is across campus) I had to climb over people to find a seat...then, I sit down and try to bring up my desk from between the seats..I could hardly move it because the guy next to me was um..rather large and blocking my desk. Needless to say, that was very awkward and I felt really bad, then I was sitting through class wondering how I was going to get out of my desk without creating another awkward moment. I ended up leaving the desk down and just escaped. Hmm..

Yesterday:
I went to church, then Sharon came over and we went to the pool and made a Target run so I could get curtains. The white walls were killing me..
Then, Jordan came to Lincoln and stayed with me!
We watched Steel Magnolias and pigged out on ice cream and popcorn. Shocking, right?
She also helped me decorate and rearrange my new apartment, it's looking a million times better. (Thanks, Jord!)

Now I need to finish unpacking, go get school supplies and start homework.
I hate the sound of that word.

Adios, amigos.

Moving Day

It is officially moving day.

New year, new start.

Details Sunday.

Summer Summary

Wow. I really stink at updating. Everyday I keep wanting to update on my daily activities but I tell myself I can't do that until I update you on the rest of my summer...which frankly will take forever and probably just make me depressed that it's over. So...

In a (somewhat long) nutshell:
Working at camp was the absolute best thing I have ever done in my life.
I learned so much about life and about myself.
My faith grew tremendously.
I realized that everything you need is in Creation and in people.
I loved my life without technology.
I made amazing friends.
I learned to live a lot simpler.
I tried new things such as high ropes and horses.
(I will never get on another horse as long as I live, but hey I tried.)
I grew so much and became a lot more secure with who I am.
I experienced many "God moments" and constantly stood in awe of Creation.

Now camp was not always perfect,
there was a not-so-wonderful situation towards the end that I thought had just ruined the whole summer, but without that experience, I would not have grown quite as much. and to be honest, I realized that had this "situation" not been there before camp, I wouldn't have even applied to work there.
Yes, I did the unthinkable. I followed a boy. [insert sigh of disapproval here.]
Obviously, it didn't end up working out. (which I am okay with now)
But..had I not done that, I would not have had this life changing summer.
Funny how God works sometimes, isn't it?
He knew I'd fall for His trick of putting this person in my life at that time.
Well Big Guy, you were right..again.
I am so thankful for every situation I went through this summer, good or bad.


Basically, I will never be the same.
At least that is my hope, I don't ever want to forget what I have learned or the friendships that I made.
As my boss says, we were on a "spiritual high" this summer.
It scares me to death that I can feel myself coming off of this "high", but I am so thankful to have a few camp friends in Lincoln to remind me of my amazing summer.



Not exactly the detailed posts of what I planned, but now it's done and you can expect daily updates again!

Silly technology

Just spent the last 30 or so minutes writing a new post.
It got deleted.
Sadly enough, it was about how annoying and frustrating technology can be and how peaceful life is without it.
Then my post got deleted & it really erked me.
Which once again, reminds me how silly technology is.
Go enjoy Creation.
I'll rewrite this tomorrow.

It's time to face the music.
I can't go back to camp.
I might as well get excited about moving back to Lincoln and stop trying to turn back time.

I miss camp every day...a lot.
A friend of mine baked s'mores cupcakes tonight, and as I was eating it, I cried.
Had I been at camp, I would be eating a real s'more because Tuesday is "fun campfire" night.
Pathetic, right? Lea's ammmazing s'mores cupcakes.

Also, while at her casa, I was able to see the stars, which I haven't looked at since camp.
(too many trees in my neighborhood)
It reminded me that even though I am not physically at CJH, I can still take it with me.
Yay, God.
:)


Good night, all.

Update from late May-June 2nd.

Miss Paisley Joan :)

Back to the beginning.
In May, I finally had the conversation with a certain someone that had been two years in the making. Things didn't exactly end up as I had hoped. This happened the week before I left for camp. My niece was also due to be born while I was at staff training and I wasn't sure if I would be allowed to leave camp to be there with my sister. I also didn't think I was ready to give up technology, air conditioning, and being able to do what I wanted, when I wanted.
Needless to say, I was not excited to leave.
[Now that I'm home, I'd give anything to be back there.]

Staff training started, and I thankfully had a few familiar faces there to greet me. When I first arrived everyone was happy and peppy and playing games, to be honest...I thought they were a little weird. I wondered what in the world I had gotten myself into. Now I'm just as "weird" as I once thought they were.

The first few days, I definitely cheated on the "no cell phone" rule, but my sister was about to have a baby, can ya blame me? I had waited and waited to ask my boss if I would be able to leave once I got the much anticipated phone call from my sister. I was so scared to ask her, I knew that if she said no, I would have a mini-breakdown right then and there. I finally got the guts to ask her, and she said "Of course, you HAVE to leave!" She even offered an extra day off to me, but I knew that would just make it harder to go back. This is turning into a longer post than necessary..ramble, ramble, blabla..

Paisley was born. Not quite sure I have ever been so happy in my life as I was the second I laid eyes on that beautiful little girl. Such a miracle babies are. There's no denying that it was one of the biggest "God moments" of my summer, and my life for that matter. It's amazing to think that God created her and He knows everything about her and has a plan for her life already, just as He does for yours and for mine.


Next post--staff training: part 2

I'm off to Starbucks with Lea.
:)

Sneak Peek

I have no idea where to start.
I wish anything I wrote could capture how absolutely beautiful, challenging, heart breaking, amazing and blessed my summer was.
In a nutshell, and at the risk of sounding very cliche..these past few months have changed me.
So many different events happened that built up to this.

Here is a sneak preview of what I will be posting about in the upcoming weeks:
(I figure if I write them down here, I am more likely to actually post them.)

In the very beginning, there was a bit of heartbreak..which ended up being a huge blessing in disguise.
Then staff training started.
Paisley was born.
Campers came.
I forgot about the outside world.
Amazing friendships were formed.
I lived. I loved. I learned.
I had my heart smushed.
I grew.
I danced, sang, taught, learned, laughed, prayed and played--all day long, every day.

It was the absolute best experience of my life.
Now that it's over, I'm not gonna lie to you--I'm scared to death.

Lack of bloggage.

Hello friends,
I have been awful at updating my blog for the past 3 (yes, three!) months.
I can't wait to start spending some time telling you my wonderful stories from my wonderful summer...
but that won't be happening until tomorrow.

Today, I am spending time getting crafty for my dear friend Lea's birthday gift.
Camp rekindled my love for getting creative. (Yay!)
On today's agenda--
paper bead necklace and a sweet patterned bleach dye shirt :)


Time to go unpack from wedding week, do some laundry,
and get crafty!

best. summer. ever.

Another quick update before I head back to camp--
This summer has so far been truly the best experience of my life.
I have made amazing friends, met amazing kids and I get to do amazing things all day long.
I know this is truly where I am supposed to be.
Every time I come home from camp, I cannot wait to get back.
(Not that I don't love seeing my family and friends back home)
I can't function well in the real world anymore, I never thought I would say I don't miss tv, internet, driving or public places.
I am in awe of God's creation at this beautiful place and amazed at how He is working in my life, never have I felt so blessed.
How did I get so lucky?

180

Here's a quick update before I catch up on some much needed sleep.
First of all, I apologize for the lack of bloggage lately.
I have been in Ashland for camp staff training.
I am preparing myself for the best summer of my life and what I know will be a huge growth experience.
My life has done a 180 in the past three weeks, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
I thought part of my world had fallen apart after a certain situation, but it ended up being a huge, and I mean HUGE blessing in disguise.
I wouldn't change a thing.

Speaking of blessings, the pictures above are of my first niece, Paisley.
She was born June 2nd at 1:54am and she is the most beautiful little girl I have ever laid eyes on. Every time I look at her, I can't help but be in complete awe and amazement that God created her and already has His plan for her.

I am so excited for this summer, and I will try to blog when I can get to my computer on the weekends.
Time for sleeeep. :)