Normally, I'm pretty good at taking life one day at a time, but this week my head is spinning. I go to bed at night with my mind racing so fast I can't even distinguish one thought from another. It's like a fast motion movie. A fast motion movie of stress. And it makes me dizzy. and nauseous. and nervous.

Time to consider the lilies. Over and over and over. This past weekend, I went back to the Island. Went to church with my family and my pastor did a sermon called "Consider the lilies".

"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"
--Matthew 6:28-30

Isn't it funny how sometimes the sermon is exactly what you need to hear? When you feel like the pastor read your mind and wrote the sermon specifically for you [and your family]?

There's a lot I don't understand right now about the circumstances given, and I won't lie, I'm getting tired of hearing "God just has another plan for you." But it's true, He does. I'm confident in that. Someday soon I will know exactly why and I will be thankful.

...but sometimes it's hard to let go of something you wanted so badly. something you've spent months daydreaming about. and planning and researching and praying. and thinking that you finally have your chance to get out and make a difference in the world. something that you felt so strongly called to from the Lord. those somethings are just hard to forget about in one day.

and hard to deal with those other somethings that are so unknown.

but you know what? the sun will still come up tomorrow. [thanks, dad] and for now, I will rest in the fact that my life is still pretty great, I shouldn't have much to complain about. Wonderful family, awesome friends, a roof, food..I've got it made.

God is still good. Always will be.